Hijaab…The Healer of Her Faith

Beneath layers of sand and stone, precious metals are found…we dig, we mine, we excavate. Many would argue how can such precious gems and metals be found under all those layers of grainy sand but undoubtedly the truth lay in its discovery. Indeed a part of the system of the Creator-ALLAH. Likewise many of us born as Muslims or Non Muslims sometimes get lost in the overwhelming grainy sand of Ad Dunya. Yet time and time again ALLAH proves us to be precious by assisting us in finding ourselves and ultimately finding Him, Subhan'Allaah!

The story of young Sister Aurora from London proves as magical and inspirational as her name. Witnessing her attestation of the beautiful shahaadah over the twitteruniverse was a moving experience, and interviewing and networking with her even moreso. May Allah truly bless her for sharing the triumphs and challenges of reverting and returning to deenul Islam. This is young Sister Aurora Kaloshi’s compelling tale…

“I am originally from Albania, I moved to England 12 years ago. I am now 20 years old. I grew up saying I was a Muslim. However, in all honesty we were anything but. As a family we all drank alcohol, ate pork, we never prayed and never really fasted during Ramadaan. The Islam that my parents and the vast majority of my country practised, was distorted through time and culture. My family chose to take the good things from the Quran, such as being a good person, offering charity etc but those things that they didn’t like such as covering and abstaining from drink, they chose to ignore. They would say that “people made it up so that they can control the population”. When I got into college I met more practising Muslim girls. They covered, they prayed and they didn’t drink. This made me feel really bad and I realised that I couldn’t call myself a Muslim because I did nothing that displayed my Islam. From that day I chose to stop saying I was a Muslim, but just a person that believes in God.

I struggled for two years with God and religion.I really wanted to believe in God and have a religion, but through many talks with my dad, I became an atheist. I didn’t see the point in religion. All it brought was conflict, but I also thought religion was too controlling, telling me what I should eat, how I should dress and how I should speak. I didn’t become a bad person when I became an atheist. I’ve always wanted to help people and I’ve always been a good person, I’d like to think so anyway. However, I have perpetually felt incomplete. Like there was something missing from me, a part of me that I needed for my survival. On the 16th of October of 2011, I got dressed to go out, and as I was looking at myself in the mirror, all of a sudden I felt compelled to put on a scarf. So I did. I cannot express fully in words, how happy and content I felt, with my scarf on. From that moment on, I couldn’t stop thinking about Islam and God. While I already knew a lot about Islam, I still needed to learn more. I told a few of my friends that I was interested, and masha'Allah they gave me a lot of information, which was really helpful. It made me see how beautiful Islam was. I found out things that I didn’t know. I remember reading an excerpt about changing your name when reverting, only if it has a bad meaning or if it is a name of an idol.

I recall reading that Allah does not desire hardship for us, He desires ease and that just made me breakdown and cry. How beautiful is that?!!

A few days after that, I found myself saying the Shahada in my head, I didn’t even realise I was doing it. The moment the realisation dawned on me, I knew that I was ready to take my Shahada. I booked an appointment with an Imam at my nearest Mosque and on the 25th of October 2011 I took my Shahada, Alhamdulillah.
I kept repeating the Shahada in my mind and that’s when I knew it was the right thing to do. I felt like I really needed to become a Muslim. I know that sounds weird but I have been trying to find God and religion for so long. So when I finally found that happiness and contentment through Islam, I knew it was the right thing to do.

“Islam is truly beautiful, when I read about things that are in the Quran it makes me so shocked at the perfection of it all. I’ve heard the saying “Islam is not a religion, it is a way of life.” Only now do I understand the true meaning of this. Everything that we need to know that benefits us in this world and the hereafter is written in the Quran. No other religion will tell you how to clean yourself and be healthy. I find this really amazing because it makes sense. I see things on the advertisements on television that the western world claims to have invented, and I think “BUT that’s been in the Quran for hundreds of years!”

I would love for my belief to strengthen. I desire to be a much better Muslim and practise the true Islam properly. I started wearing the Hijab full time from the 5th of November. I was going to wait for a year or so, but before I went out that day, I had a massive urge to wear the Hijab. Almost as if I didn’t wear it I was going to die or something! And honestly it’s been great. Who could have thought that covering and being modest could bring such happiness to a girl’s life. I’ve never been much of a confident person, but now that I cover, I value, respect and love my body so much more.

Insha'Allah in the near future my parents and my extended family will accept me as a Muslim, but at the moment, I’m going through a great amount of struggle. My parents think that I have been oppressed and forced into becoming a Muslim. They don’t understand that Allah has finally made me see the truth, and that I am incredibly happy.

I’ve been getting calls from my aunt in Italy, who constantly repeats that I’m bringing shame to the family and that I should stop wearing the Hijab or else she will stop talking to me. My other extended family members still don’t know that I’ve reverted, but I’m sure their reactions will be the same as my aunt from Italy.

My brother who is 17 has been very supportive with my decision because he knows it makes me happy. My parents have been arguing with me since I reverted. To the point that they have even kicked me out. Time and time again I’ve tried to explain to them how I feel but they don’t understand, they are so consumed by the western world that no other way exists for them.I spend most of my time locked in my room, because as soon as I bump into them, they tell me what a horrible person I am; how I’ve embarrassed them; how stupid and ugly I look with my Hijab on and many more things. Some which are too horrible to even mention.

I must say I love the Hijab. It has brought a great deal of happiness to me. I also notice that men respect me. They do not shout out obscene and suggestive remarks to me. Or stare at me as if I’m a piece of meat. Before I reverted I got a lot of attention from men, and I thought it was ok and normal, only now do I understand how pathetic I was in thinking that way, because they have no respect for me when they look at me like that. I also don’t find it comfortable if a man looked at me in a lustful way.

”I love meeting Muslim sisters, because I hear them talk about Islam and Allah and I find it so inspirational. I hope to be like that one day. I love the respect and support I receive from other Muslims, it is truly amazing. I love being part of this big family of Islam. I love the fact that Islam has brought reason and purpose to my life. I know what I am aiming for now. Whereas before I was totally lost.

To other Muslims I would just like to say that, it is important that we behave and act appropriately. That is, in the way that Muslims should. For example recently I read an article about four Muslim girls in England who got drunk and brutally attacked a white woman, just because she was white. Every action has a consequence and once the media found out what happened many newspaper headlines read “Muslim girl gang attack white woman.” The western media craves stories such as these, where they can publish in big bold writing that the ‘criminals’ were in fact Muslims. We need to understand that people will judge Islam by the actions of the Muslims.

Also if you are going to practise Islam, then do it right please. I see so many girls abusing the Hijab and wearing their scarfs loosely so their hair shows, or wearing really tight clothes with their Hijabs. This is not the essence of hijab in Islam, which is modesty. Let not time and culture distort the pure true Islam.

To non-Muslims I would just like to say say, put aside all the negative things that you have heard about Islam, go to your nearest Mosque and ask for some information on Islam. Read for yourself what true Islam entails and then form an opinion.

I get stared at alot because of my Hijab and it seems as if people feel oppressed for me. Next time you see someone wearing a Hijab just ask them why they wear it or even ask them abit about Islam. In researching Islam with an open mind you are bound to observe its beauty. I would also take the opportunity to urge you not to judge Islam by the people, because we are only human and we make mistakes. However, if you judge Islam by the Quran you will realise that it is perfect because it is the true religion of God. Truly there is nothing like it.

Sister Aurora’s final sentiment for our interview was, “I would just like to say that our stay in this world is not long and we should do everything possible in completing this test successfully. It is very hard to disconnect yourself from the values of this world (I’m still trying) but once we all do this, life will be perfect. If we all followed Islam properly, we will never need to struggle, we will never feel pain or hardship, but sadly many people are misguided.As Muslims, we should endeavour to read and centre our lives around the Quran, as it will not only be a means of deep guidance for us but it will also bring so much ease to our lives, Insha'Allaah.”

Undoubtedly Sister Aurora’s story serves as beautiful inspiration for us to live, love and serve Islam. Not forgetting the valuable lesson of holding onto the fundamental aspects of Islam, like the hijaab. Which proved in her circumstance to be… the healer of her faith.